Here I share a few snippets of my journey and in no way is the implicit statement that you should agree or follow a similar path. Your journey is unique and I honour it as sacred ground. If my journey has done one thing it is to drastically expand my capacity to truly hold a non-judgemental and safe space supporting the unfolding of your path.
My journey has been colourful and messy with many beautiful moments and many failures. It’s a journey of sincerely searching for what is real and true irrespective of what I may find along the way.
I’m a qualified Consciousness Coach (Creative Consciousness International 2011 – qualification accredited with the International Coaching Federation), an accredited Integrative Enneagram Practitioner (2012) and have a Master degree in Divinity (University of Stellenbosch 2004).
It was intellectual honesty that led to a choice of not getting ordained as a Christian minister after my theological studies in 2004. What followed was a journey the past 15 years of exploring a variety of spiritual paths including Advaita Vedanta, Shambhala Buddhism and Vipassana. This journey included severe depression, anxiety, surgery for melanoma cancer and glimpses of soulful moments greeting me through the unknown.
I have come to believe that humans do need stories or metaphors to connect to meaning and depth as a way to embrace the mysteries of life. Our minds are not wired to find meaning and soulfulness in a list of scientific facts. The symbolic world helps me to be in awe of the miracle of consciousness and to feel connected to this incredibly intelligent creative power moving through me and all of nature. Being influenced by science and symbols I find myself travelling in this space between the secular and the sacred.
I’ve been a sensitive and deeply feeling person as long as I can remember. For most of my life, I’ve been trying to fix myself via spiritual and secular self-help books, prayer, meditation, therapy, coaching and striving after states of bliss, purity and freedom from all my perceived weaknesses. After 40years my spiritual practice has evolved in something you could say is exactly the opposite: Fully embracing my humanness warts and all.
I am a human.
I want soul.
What I’m sharing here is about a homecoming in my own skin that is continuing to this day. It includes finding soul in all my weaknesses, anxieties, fears, cravings or whatever messiness might appear.
I don’t believe in a black and white world where what is most meaningful and true can be packaged in a way comprehensible for the human mind.
I see the world as colourful.
My life as an evolving work of art.
Soulfulness as dancing through all the colours.
Also dancing through all the dark and grey corners.
As with the creation story of Adam and Eve:
soil comes before soul…
And according to the Buddhist tradition:
mud is required for the Lotus flower to blossom…